Congratulations, You’ve Reinvented the Patriarchy

What happens when we stop analyzing systems and start policing women's choices

I was once informed—helpfully, smugly—that shaving my legs was “inherently patriarchal” and “for the male gaze,” and that by doing it I was betraying feminism. Small plot twist: I’m a lesbian. There is no male gaze in my bathroom, unless you count the ghost of Don Draper haunting the marketing ads in the razor aisle.

The logic went like this: because patriarchy helped invent the standard that women should be hairless, any participation in hair removal is capitulation. Therefore, real feminists don’t shave. And if you do? Turn in your feminist credentials at the door.

It was presented as a consciousness-raising moment, but it felt a lot more like being dress-coded by my vice principal in Junior High because my skirt was too short.