This is really well written. I could highlight half of it easily. But I kind of wish you'd shared his reply. Because I was really curious to know which "ideas" he thought were good
That's fair, and sounds like the kind of thing I'd do. Curiosity sometimes gets the best of me before logic steps in. I love what you're doing and so glad I found your work. I will be sharing with my readers :)
As a previous educator, I appreciate that you didn’t call him out. I’ll admit, I was very curious, but the reality is that whatever he was rationalizing, it wasn’t the point.
So good to know. I mean, the fact that he asked was a pretty vulnerable major step. I wonder if it was easier for him in an online class. I taught high school online for years, and I definitely felt like some of my students would’ve been less inclined to discuss their lives and ideas after class had we been in person. My office hours were some of my favorite teachable moments.
Outstanding perspective, explanation, and instruction.
I must admit, I don’t know whether I should feel heartened or dismayed. Heartened because you explained the history and dynamics of womens’ lives within the patriarchal system so well; dismayed because women still have to deal with the patriarchy and men refuse to accept responsibility for their own lives, actions and behaviors, and insist on women taking on the role of mommy to run their lives for them.
This article contains so much value well beyond Andrew Tate. It clearly connects the serious concerns about what many men think of women to the weakness of a gender who refuses to become self-aware because they think it’s working for them to not change or grow. Appreciate the photo reference to The Pitt and Ted Lasso because they not only represent more self-aware men, but encourage men who keep at it.
If we could help future generations see the truths you share, we could leave this world so much better off. Some days it feels impossible, but I greatly appreciate your contribution to better understanding and hopefully, one day, a more equal society.
Thank you! I really do hope we can build a world that is better for everyone, that let's men have positive feelings that they express openly and not just negative ones. And a world where women don't have to fear men who listen to this kind of "self-help."
OMG. SO great! Thank you for telling it clear and clean and bold. "You can walk them through centuries of women being praised into submission, protected into dependence, excluded for their own good, silenced for social stability, controlled in the name of morality, and punished for wanting to be full human beings." I wish I had taken your class. I would have been the annoying student in the front row, smiling, making angry faces at the mistreatment of women by men in history, and raising my hand constantly, yelling answers, because I found home. Subscribing right now. xo
I was all about being a favorite student. My teachers meant the world to me, and were surrogate parents who made up for what I wasn't getting at home. But college was intimidating. I believed I wasn't smart enough or a good enough writer to hand in papers, so I quit before I even got started. I'll give the podcast a try, I'm not great at things that are exclusively audio. I think I have a sensory processing issue. But I'll tune in. I have a stack I'd love for you to take a look at. It's an online (yes Zoom rectangles) feminist story slam, called Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam! If you ever want to tell a story in my virtual playhouse, I'd love it. Thank you. xo
You understand the processing thing! I can't do audiobooks at all. I'm a reader. I can talk shows, interviews on video, but audio is really hard for me.
Please do check out the slam. I'm really proud of what I'm building. It's not just for me, either. It's about making a community and I so badly want it to grow. I want to meet as many feminist writers as I can to invite them to be in the slam. But I'm not inviting the "therapist," because I don't think she's really a feminist.
I'm so judgy. It's a personal failing I'm working on, but I also trust my gut. But I'm willing to be mistaken and change my view.
I like to think of my judginess as discernment. It seems softer. Mine's all about behavior, too. Wear whatever you want. Have cosmetic surgery, it's your face. But don't be a dick (used that on purpose). The critical stuff? I learned from both of my parents. But when i realized that the criticism was mostly projection and hurt me the most, I had to pause it forever.
Your description of Tate making vague nods to virtue like exercise reminds me of my reading of Jordan Peterson - good idea; yes, I agree, solid point, what the hell?; Where did that come from? Lobsters?
I spent decades in Silicon Valley, working largely with men, as a programmer, a manager, a director. I have patents, and drove the direction in part of my industry. Men hated me. I’m so used to this. Your article spells it out so well. Thanks.
The term “emotional malnutrition” jumped out at me. I’ve been there, and this captures it perfectly. Which is why your approach is powerful. Meaningful questions are nourishing to both the mind and soul. It also addresses the fundamental flaw within the man-o-sphere. These men like to imagine that what they’ve become is because of who they are, rather than what they’ve swallowed.
Thank you for giving me the words to describe the history behind my 61 years of lived experience, and the follow up questions to help people I know reach their own (correct) conclusions. I'm thinking about auditing a women's history course now!
My podcast right now is just me running through my old women's history lectures with more gender theory added in. Feel free to start with that if you want 😊
Thank you so much for this! I taught the Psychology of Women 20 years ago and have dearly missed these discussions. Where I've lived, it's been extremely difficult to find feminists to befriend, especially those who have a solid grounding in feminism. The presence of feminist community spaces nationwide, especially in less urban areas, would be such a gift. How many women don't know our history? How many don't know the personal is political? How many don't know the joys of sisterhood or the exhilaration of talking about the intricacies of systems and patterns?
I enjoyed your post a lot. I also appreciated that, like a true teacher, you gently helped that young man understand more about a confusing part of his world. We're all better for it.
I'm trying to do my part in education still with my podcast. I started using my old lectures to create episodes. I'm thinking I might record some of these articles as well so there's an audio version that isn't done by a robot voice 😂
For what it's worth (and also reading some other more negative comments left here I feel I have to counteract that) I thought it was a great article. I think you more than implied what you said to the student. I didn't think you were trying to be derogatory or smear his name. Merely trying to bring attention to the fact that a male student can go through weeks of your class and still go... umm, but Andrew Tate?
Also, for what it's worth, I wish I had taken a class like yours in college. It would've opened my eyes so much more to the injustices towards women in the history of the world. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the article. I’m still working on becoming something better (I still don’t know what to term that). Being in a profession that is 96% female for over 40 years has afforded me opportunities for lots of errors (there were certainly some problems with my world view coming out of a fundamentalist upbringing). My colleagues over the years have certainly made sure I understood those and how to begin rectifying said errors.
As I reflect on my personal experiences, I think most men have a slight bent toward good (has more payoffs than out and out evil). But we seem to not want to be too good, and not quite all the time. So, I continue to wrestle with making sure that what I say and do is not creating an inequitable environment. My partner still corrects my language, though not as much as before, so maybe I’m making improvement.
And by the way, I don’t even know what Andrew “what’s his name” looks like or sounds like. I just don’t have time for those who spout those kinds of ideas. Does that make me good? I think not, I’m just trying to tread a little more lightly through this thing. And I do worry that we’ve lost a lot of progress toward a fairer and more just society.
Honestly just by saying this "Does that make me good? I think not, I’m just trying to tread a little more lightly through this thing." you are doing better than a lot of men. You recognize that something is the bare minimum, not something to be applauded. You might not realize how rare that is.
The fact that you work at it, even if you don't always get it right, is a big deal. You are open to advice and correction when needed and that's HUGE for men as well (since you have a fundamentalist upbringing, I am sure I don't need to tell you that.)
I won't give you unearned praise, but I think you are on a good path and trying. Good for you! And shout out to your partner for helping you grow.
Very, very good. You've distilled the important points into a stiff brew. To be taken in moderation. Young men--no, all men need to hear you. There are so few men to show as models. Only weasels, grifters, liars, pedos, cultists, and reality deniers who swim together in an endless swamp of anti-intellectual sludge.
I listened to several of your articles today and I’m hooked! I also shared with a couple friends who will be interested. One is a retired Women’s Studies Professor at the University of Kentucky. She will be awed, I’m sure.
Wonderful article. It’s all misogyny in sparkling wrapping paper. It spans everything from the overcompensation of masculinity that Andrew Tate presents to the benevolent misogyny that trad influencers show.
This is really well written. I could highlight half of it easily. But I kind of wish you'd shared his reply. Because I was really curious to know which "ideas" he thought were good
I implied it in the text. I wasn't going to directly quote him, because I already feel a bit bad calling him out, even without his name.
That's fair, and sounds like the kind of thing I'd do. Curiosity sometimes gets the best of me before logic steps in. I love what you're doing and so glad I found your work. I will be sharing with my readers :)
He was a good student. Honestly curious and willing to learn. I hope he took my lessons and did better going forward.
As a previous educator, I appreciate that you didn’t call him out. I’ll admit, I was very curious, but the reality is that whatever he was rationalizing, it wasn’t the point.
Exactly! And he did listen to my points at the time I think and certainly wasn't internalizing the worst parts of Tate's views.
So good to know. I mean, the fact that he asked was a pretty vulnerable major step. I wonder if it was easier for him in an online class. I taught high school online for years, and I definitely felt like some of my students would’ve been less inclined to discuss their lives and ideas after class had we been in person. My office hours were some of my favorite teachable moments.
Outstanding perspective, explanation, and instruction.
I must admit, I don’t know whether I should feel heartened or dismayed. Heartened because you explained the history and dynamics of womens’ lives within the patriarchal system so well; dismayed because women still have to deal with the patriarchy and men refuse to accept responsibility for their own lives, actions and behaviors, and insist on women taking on the role of mommy to run their lives for them.
Either way, it’s exhausting.
What she said!❤️
This article contains so much value well beyond Andrew Tate. It clearly connects the serious concerns about what many men think of women to the weakness of a gender who refuses to become self-aware because they think it’s working for them to not change or grow. Appreciate the photo reference to The Pitt and Ted Lasso because they not only represent more self-aware men, but encourage men who keep at it.
If we could help future generations see the truths you share, we could leave this world so much better off. Some days it feels impossible, but I greatly appreciate your contribution to better understanding and hopefully, one day, a more equal society.
Thank you! I really do hope we can build a world that is better for everyone, that let's men have positive feelings that they express openly and not just negative ones. And a world where women don't have to fear men who listen to this kind of "self-help."
OMG. SO great! Thank you for telling it clear and clean and bold. "You can walk them through centuries of women being praised into submission, protected into dependence, excluded for their own good, silenced for social stability, controlled in the name of morality, and punished for wanting to be full human beings." I wish I had taken your class. I would have been the annoying student in the front row, smiling, making angry faces at the mistreatment of women by men in history, and raising my hand constantly, yelling answers, because I found home. Subscribing right now. xo
Thank you so much! And for the paid subscription!
The good news is that I'm slowly but surely turning my old lesson plans into my current podcast! So you can give those a whirl if you want.
Sounds like you'd have been a favorite student!
I was all about being a favorite student. My teachers meant the world to me, and were surrogate parents who made up for what I wasn't getting at home. But college was intimidating. I believed I wasn't smart enough or a good enough writer to hand in papers, so I quit before I even got started. I'll give the podcast a try, I'm not great at things that are exclusively audio. I think I have a sensory processing issue. But I'll tune in. I have a stack I'd love for you to take a look at. It's an online (yes Zoom rectangles) feminist story slam, called Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam! If you ever want to tell a story in my virtual playhouse, I'd love it. Thank you. xo
I'll definitely check it out! And I have an auditory processing problem myself. Not all the episodes have transcripts available on here, but some do.
You understand the processing thing! I can't do audiobooks at all. I'm a reader. I can talk shows, interviews on video, but audio is really hard for me.
Please do check out the slam. I'm really proud of what I'm building. It's not just for me, either. It's about making a community and I so badly want it to grow. I want to meet as many feminist writers as I can to invite them to be in the slam. But I'm not inviting the "therapist," because I don't think she's really a feminist.
I'm so judgy. It's a personal failing I'm working on, but I also trust my gut. But I'm willing to be mistaken and change my view.
I'm judgey too. Got it honestly from my mother. But I only judge behavior...which seems alright. I'm on the slam website already!
I like to think of my judginess as discernment. It seems softer. Mine's all about behavior, too. Wear whatever you want. Have cosmetic surgery, it's your face. But don't be a dick (used that on purpose). The critical stuff? I learned from both of my parents. But when i realized that the criticism was mostly projection and hurt me the most, I had to pause it forever.
I saw that you subscribed. Thank you!
I loved this. You had a lot of great clarifying points/statements that stand out on their own in communicating a big message.
Thank you! I learned to do that with teaching. It helped cement ideas.
Your description of Tate making vague nods to virtue like exercise reminds me of my reading of Jordan Peterson - good idea; yes, I agree, solid point, what the hell?; Where did that come from? Lobsters?
I spent decades in Silicon Valley, working largely with men, as a programmer, a manager, a director. I have patents, and drove the direction in part of my industry. Men hated me. I’m so used to this. Your article spells it out so well. Thanks.
The term “emotional malnutrition” jumped out at me. I’ve been there, and this captures it perfectly. Which is why your approach is powerful. Meaningful questions are nourishing to both the mind and soul. It also addresses the fundamental flaw within the man-o-sphere. These men like to imagine that what they’ve become is because of who they are, rather than what they’ve swallowed.
Thank you for giving me the words to describe the history behind my 61 years of lived experience, and the follow up questions to help people I know reach their own (correct) conclusions. I'm thinking about auditing a women's history course now!
My podcast right now is just me running through my old women's history lectures with more gender theory added in. Feel free to start with that if you want 😊
Thank you, I will! 💜
Thank you so much for this! I taught the Psychology of Women 20 years ago and have dearly missed these discussions. Where I've lived, it's been extremely difficult to find feminists to befriend, especially those who have a solid grounding in feminism. The presence of feminist community spaces nationwide, especially in less urban areas, would be such a gift. How many women don't know our history? How many don't know the personal is political? How many don't know the joys of sisterhood or the exhilaration of talking about the intricacies of systems and patterns?
I enjoyed your post a lot. I also appreciated that, like a true teacher, you gently helped that young man understand more about a confusing part of his world. We're all better for it.
I'm trying to do my part in education still with my podcast. I started using my old lectures to create episodes. I'm thinking I might record some of these articles as well so there's an audio version that isn't done by a robot voice 😂
For what it's worth (and also reading some other more negative comments left here I feel I have to counteract that) I thought it was a great article. I think you more than implied what you said to the student. I didn't think you were trying to be derogatory or smear his name. Merely trying to bring attention to the fact that a male student can go through weeks of your class and still go... umm, but Andrew Tate?
Also, for what it's worth, I wish I had taken a class like yours in college. It would've opened my eyes so much more to the injustices towards women in the history of the world. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! And I'm turning my old lectures into podcast episodes, so you can retroactively enjoy the class 😊
Thanks for the article. I’m still working on becoming something better (I still don’t know what to term that). Being in a profession that is 96% female for over 40 years has afforded me opportunities for lots of errors (there were certainly some problems with my world view coming out of a fundamentalist upbringing). My colleagues over the years have certainly made sure I understood those and how to begin rectifying said errors.
As I reflect on my personal experiences, I think most men have a slight bent toward good (has more payoffs than out and out evil). But we seem to not want to be too good, and not quite all the time. So, I continue to wrestle with making sure that what I say and do is not creating an inequitable environment. My partner still corrects my language, though not as much as before, so maybe I’m making improvement.
And by the way, I don’t even know what Andrew “what’s his name” looks like or sounds like. I just don’t have time for those who spout those kinds of ideas. Does that make me good? I think not, I’m just trying to tread a little more lightly through this thing. And I do worry that we’ve lost a lot of progress toward a fairer and more just society.
Honestly just by saying this "Does that make me good? I think not, I’m just trying to tread a little more lightly through this thing." you are doing better than a lot of men. You recognize that something is the bare minimum, not something to be applauded. You might not realize how rare that is.
The fact that you work at it, even if you don't always get it right, is a big deal. You are open to advice and correction when needed and that's HUGE for men as well (since you have a fundamentalist upbringing, I am sure I don't need to tell you that.)
I won't give you unearned praise, but I think you are on a good path and trying. Good for you! And shout out to your partner for helping you grow.
Supported by millions for almost 20 years, this toxic male believed:
'The multitude, like a woman, is made to be violated.'
Benito Mussolini, 1930.
Very, very good. You've distilled the important points into a stiff brew. To be taken in moderation. Young men--no, all men need to hear you. There are so few men to show as models. Only weasels, grifters, liars, pedos, cultists, and reality deniers who swim together in an endless swamp of anti-intellectual sludge.
Wow. Thank you. You have so clearly articulated some of my thoughts on the key cultural differences between men and women and the power dynamic.
Thank you! And thanks for the paid subscription as well! I hope I can continue giving you valuable takes.
I listened to several of your articles today and I’m hooked! I also shared with a couple friends who will be interested. One is a retired Women’s Studies Professor at the University of Kentucky. She will be awed, I’m sure.
That's amazing! Seriously sharing my work is peak support.
Excellent. Just excellent.
Wonderful article. It’s all misogyny in sparkling wrapping paper. It spans everything from the overcompensation of masculinity that Andrew Tate presents to the benevolent misogyny that trad influencers show.