A few years ago, personal responsibility was a very popular argument from certain corners of the internet. I think it's fair to apply it here, too. Blaming women for personal failings is the height of entitlement.
"It has been showing up for so long that the archive is basically one long receipt printed by a furious CVS machine." OH, ProfessorMEREDITH! And: "A woman wanted knowledge and a snack, and somehow men made that everyone’s problem forever." I fell on the floor laughing reading those sentences. You won the internet today, my dear. Brava! xo
You may absolutely say that. It is perfectly perfect in every way. If you ever decide to leave academia, I see you having a great future as a snarky, bitchy stand-up comedian. You'll probably earn more, too. xo
Indeed it was! my previous favorite reference to that myth, was the fact that she took dietary advice from a talking reptile, and why does the book of myths make that seem normal?
My mom was not a yeller. In fact she had been traumatized as a toddler by her roaring in anger and throwing a bowl of mashed potatoes across the dining table at her mom. So in fact just being around loud voices often elicited tears that she tried to hold at bay. I say this because when my brother was young, all my mom had to do is try to quietly correct him or say "no" and he would clap both hands over his ears and shout "quit yelling at me!". This would bring a quizzical look to my mom's face and at that point it did no good to argue as, with my brother, it didn't matter if you agreed or disagreed with him, either way, you were in the wrong. I can now see that this is a typical Dodge for men who don't like to be told no. But it amazes me that he picked it up at such a young age. Keep up the good work. Don't let the morons gaslight you. What good is having a smart mom if all she is a reference in place of an Accomplishment?
I can see I could have edited a little better. That was my mom's dad who was yelling and throwing bowls of mashed potatoes, when my mom was 2 years old. But you probably guessed that.
That's true, only my grandma was usually on the receiving end of the abuse. At least one of her husbands plotted with their neighbor lady to kill her. She confronted him and indeed he tried, but underestimated her determination not to let any man victimize her.
Oh, Prof. Meredith... I laughed out loud so many times. Of course, there are the killer lines Nan quoted, but also: "Proximity to scholarship is not scholarship." God, that one takes it, with all the ways some women think proximity to power is going to save them somehow. That clip was bone-chilling. Right to the marrow. All those women being used to show women that they are such a terrible problem for wanting to work are working themselves. Jebus, that's the earlier iteration of all those lawyer-trad-wives, all those Erika Kirks.
I had a student about 7 years ago ask me if I thought feminists had destroyed the family. He asked this loudly as I was passing out papers and he was listening to folks like Ben Shapiro. Ironically it was a USII class where I was teaching about the 2oth century suffrage movement and specifically having them analyze propaganda against suffrage at that time. At first I said, I'm not going to dignify that question with and answer. Then as I continued to pass out papers i became more upset. That was me he was talking about, not just some abstract concept. I basically launched into a short synopsis of the history of this talking point.
Love this! Many men are gravely incapable of sitting with discomfort and for years the buffer for that discomfort was women. Once women gained equal footing, the entire patriarchal structure began crashing down because it was a farce to begin with.
Thank you for addressing religion’s role in all of this! Most writers completely ignore how the dominant world religions maintain patriarchal values. I don’t know if it’s because they’re afraid to offend believers or because they’ve never thought about it, but it’s always strange to me when religion is left out of the conversation.
Fascinating that the whole article highlights how women get blamed for men’s failings but then one particular man’s failing “makes me want to find his mother on LinkedIn and send a complaint to the manufacturer of the man in my comments”. Speaking as a mother who has a misogynist son ( 1 out of 3, the other 2 are feminist allies) believe me, I did *everything* I could to raise a decent human being but one woman cannot be expected to overcome the influence of a thousand years of patriarchy and once they hit teens, peer pressure to despise women (especially your mother) gets very strong indeed.
The only reason I brought her into it was because he tried to name drop her as a way to justify his own arguments and I feel she should have a right to tell him off for doing that.
She has a right to know he's done that, but it's unlikely that scolding an adult son (who has a poor attitude toward women) is going to make the blindest bit of difference.
The Judeo-Christian religious triad was invented by wealthy patriarchal men in power in an attempt to explain things for which there was no reasonable explanation at the time, based on their knowledge base.....
while also making sure power stayed in the hands of wealthy patriarchal men by oppressing and subjugating anyone they deemed inferior to themselves - including but not limited to women and minorities.
Some things have changed in those religions as time passed.
Misogyny and hate for "others" has remained consistent.
Professor Meredith, I truly enjoy your articles. You have helped me understand and contend with what I identify as rage about being constantly victimized by patriarchy.
Much of my ignorance about, and not having the knowledge and tools to deal with, patriarchy was due to age, ignorance, inexperience and many other stumbling blocks. Thank Mother Gaia that age, experience, education and work such as yours has helped me understand and deal with the rage and direct it toward the culprit.
A few years ago, personal responsibility was a very popular argument from certain corners of the internet. I think it's fair to apply it here, too. Blaming women for personal failings is the height of entitlement.
Thanks, Prof.
--Great article.
"It has been showing up for so long that the archive is basically one long receipt printed by a furious CVS machine." OH, ProfessorMEREDITH! And: "A woman wanted knowledge and a snack, and somehow men made that everyone’s problem forever." I fell on the floor laughing reading those sentences. You won the internet today, my dear. Brava! xo
That Eve line was condensed perfection, if I do say so myself 😂
You may absolutely say that. It is perfectly perfect in every way. If you ever decide to leave academia, I see you having a great future as a snarky, bitchy stand-up comedian. You'll probably earn more, too. xo
Might do 😂
Hannah Gadsby, move over and make some room for the Prof. xo
Indeed it was! my previous favorite reference to that myth, was the fact that she took dietary advice from a talking reptile, and why does the book of myths make that seem normal?
My mom was not a yeller. In fact she had been traumatized as a toddler by her roaring in anger and throwing a bowl of mashed potatoes across the dining table at her mom. So in fact just being around loud voices often elicited tears that she tried to hold at bay. I say this because when my brother was young, all my mom had to do is try to quietly correct him or say "no" and he would clap both hands over his ears and shout "quit yelling at me!". This would bring a quizzical look to my mom's face and at that point it did no good to argue as, with my brother, it didn't matter if you agreed or disagreed with him, either way, you were in the wrong. I can now see that this is a typical Dodge for men who don't like to be told no. But it amazes me that he picked it up at such a young age. Keep up the good work. Don't let the morons gaslight you. What good is having a smart mom if all she is a reference in place of an Accomplishment?
I can see I could have edited a little better. That was my mom's dad who was yelling and throwing bowls of mashed potatoes, when my mom was 2 years old. But you probably guessed that.
Honestly it would make sense either way. No matter what gender is heaping abuse it's going to leave scars.
That's true, only my grandma was usually on the receiving end of the abuse. At least one of her husbands plotted with their neighbor lady to kill her. She confronted him and indeed he tried, but underestimated her determination not to let any man victimize her.
Oh, Prof. Meredith... I laughed out loud so many times. Of course, there are the killer lines Nan quoted, but also: "Proximity to scholarship is not scholarship." God, that one takes it, with all the ways some women think proximity to power is going to save them somehow. That clip was bone-chilling. Right to the marrow. All those women being used to show women that they are such a terrible problem for wanting to work are working themselves. Jebus, that's the earlier iteration of all those lawyer-trad-wives, all those Erika Kirks.
Fantastic article! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
I had a student about 7 years ago ask me if I thought feminists had destroyed the family. He asked this loudly as I was passing out papers and he was listening to folks like Ben Shapiro. Ironically it was a USII class where I was teaching about the 2oth century suffrage movement and specifically having them analyze propaganda against suffrage at that time. At first I said, I'm not going to dignify that question with and answer. Then as I continued to pass out papers i became more upset. That was me he was talking about, not just some abstract concept. I basically launched into a short synopsis of the history of this talking point.
Excellent! Phyllis Schlafly had that horrible book "who killed the American Family?" Which never ceases to piss me off when I think about it.
Love this! Many men are gravely incapable of sitting with discomfort and for years the buffer for that discomfort was women. Once women gained equal footing, the entire patriarchal structure began crashing down because it was a farce to begin with.
Patriarchy gave men authority and handed women responsibility for managing the fallout.
Your writing is so clear and concise. Thank you for putting words to this....makes so much sense and once you see it, you can't unsee it.
What a superb post. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Sharing with as many people as I can. Very necessary I think.
Beautifully written. Excellent arguments. 👍
Thank you for addressing religion’s role in all of this! Most writers completely ignore how the dominant world religions maintain patriarchal values. I don’t know if it’s because they’re afraid to offend believers or because they’ve never thought about it, but it’s always strange to me when religion is left out of the conversation.
Fascinating that the whole article highlights how women get blamed for men’s failings but then one particular man’s failing “makes me want to find his mother on LinkedIn and send a complaint to the manufacturer of the man in my comments”. Speaking as a mother who has a misogynist son ( 1 out of 3, the other 2 are feminist allies) believe me, I did *everything* I could to raise a decent human being but one woman cannot be expected to overcome the influence of a thousand years of patriarchy and once they hit teens, peer pressure to despise women (especially your mother) gets very strong indeed.
The only reason I brought her into it was because he tried to name drop her as a way to justify his own arguments and I feel she should have a right to tell him off for doing that.
She has a right to know he's done that, but it's unlikely that scolding an adult son (who has a poor attitude toward women) is going to make the blindest bit of difference.
Mansplaining is always good for a laugh.
I saw a meme on Substack a few days ago posted by Greenthumbgardner that referred to mansplaining as “correctile dysfunction”.
After I recovered from falling on the floor laughing myself silly, I forwarded it to my girlfriends.
The Judeo-Christian religious triad was invented by wealthy patriarchal men in power in an attempt to explain things for which there was no reasonable explanation at the time, based on their knowledge base.....
while also making sure power stayed in the hands of wealthy patriarchal men by oppressing and subjugating anyone they deemed inferior to themselves - including but not limited to women and minorities.
Some things have changed in those religions as time passed.
Misogyny and hate for "others" has remained consistent.
Professor Meredith, I truly enjoy your articles. You have helped me understand and contend with what I identify as rage about being constantly victimized by patriarchy.
Much of my ignorance about, and not having the knowledge and tools to deal with, patriarchy was due to age, ignorance, inexperience and many other stumbling blocks. Thank Mother Gaia that age, experience, education and work such as yours has helped me understand and deal with the rage and direct it toward the culprit.