I will be sharing this with so many friends of all ages. Beautifully written and argued. Dr Bailey's experience reminded me of Serena Williams' experience after giving birth. She had spent her life shaping her body into a well honed machine, yet doctors did not listen when she said something felt wrong. There I think we see the intersectional experience of being Black and female in Western society.
Excellent article. The abortion waiting period is thoroughly insulting to all women and needs abolished everywhere. The minute you are pregnant every hour of your day is engrossed in thought about what this means to your life. Extra thinking time is ridiculous, unnecessary and assumes women have no functional brain.
I love your cultural references. It makes me think much more deeply about how my experiences as a woman have been shaped by these fucked up messages blasted over our media.
I not only appreciate this piece for all of its excellently crafted writing, I also relate to it as a woman who chose not to have children. Thank you for writing this.
I was born in the 1960s into a high-control religion. I never thought about the question of motherhood. It was my divine role and purpose! It fulfills the measure of my creation! I am grateful for my adult children. I was not a good mother though; I was angry and frustrated every day, and I often unleashed that negativity onto my kids. I was also convinced that I was the problem. It has taken me years of therapy and deconstruction to 1) take responsibility for the damage I inflicted and 2) think critically about religious and cultural messaging about womanhood and motherhood. I sincerely hope younger women are paying attention to these conversations and thinking critically about who they are as individuals and making choices based on their own judgment.
In a free society, a person's autonomy over their own body should be beyond any doubt. A person's decision should stand the first time they say it.- Thanks
As an Australian with no restrictions on accessing women's health care, my heart breaks for women who have to navigate these condescending patriarchal barriers. I've had two terminations which I've never doubted or seconded guessed, they were absolutely the right decisions. In both cases doctors acted professionally and respectfully. I was never asked to explain or re-think my choice. But international anti-abortion lobby groups are trying to change this, like the Alliance Defending Freedom and CitizenGo which are trying to get a foot hold in Australia to push their agenda.
In the mid-1980’s I had a birth control malfunction that required me to go the doctor. She said I was a little dilated and probably pregnant. At that moment I knew she was right and we scheduled my abortion. No fuss. Fast forward 4 years and I’ve had several bad Pap smear results requiring a more advanced biopsy. I tell my doctor (again female) that one of two things is going to happen while she has me under. Either it’s cancer and she’ll remove my uterus or it’s not and she’ll tie my tubes. She didn’t want to do it because we were the same age and she had just had her first baby. I told her I was offended and did she want an affidavit from my mother confirming that she had never heard me say anything besides I wasn’t having children. Thankfully not cancer. She tied my tubes. BTW, my favorite line from people about having children was “it’s different when it’s yours.” My response was always, “yeah, you can’t give it back.”
Your posts are fantastic which is why I subscribed and read all. One very minor nit to pick. Legal terms, on the whole, are Latin. Scientific, which includes medical, terms are generally from Greek.
Thanks for acknowledging! Phew. I was hesitant to comment about that. You’ve given me so much to think about. As a huge ST fan, I loved your post on Voyager.
Yes. Inexcusable. Also, people forget that a majority of abortion seekers already have children. They know exactly what pregnancy, birth and parenthood entails, more than men do. How insulting to insist they don’t know and can’t make such a critical decision.
Dear Meredith: We cannot account for why theories Abigail Adams was a principle author of the Declaration of Independence (1776) haven’t been put forward until now, but her stance as an advocate for coequality may illuminate a clearer picture of our past and shine light on a better path forward. Your thoughts?
I can’t think of any reason to think she had anything to do with it other than perhaps her ideas influencing John through her letters. Certainly not a principle author.
I can account for the fact that no one has put forward that theory. It’s bonkers. We know that Abigail was kind of fucking busy that summer keeping the farm running and inoculated herself and the children against smallpox. On modern roads it’s 300+ miles from Braintree, Massachusetts to Philadelphia. Abigail wasn’t commuting or providing feedback by mail, since it took about 2 weeks to write the Declaration and it probably would take 2 weeks to TRAVEL their on horseback.
History, women’s history especially, is not made better by creating conspiracy theories that have no basis in reality.
Certainly not a conspiracy theory and we can account for your explanations as well as prove that whereas no one can say she wasn’t a principle author applying whatever definition you might be, her views and indeed unique wording and advice from letters does appear in the Early Draft. We thank you though for emphasizing our need to substantiate our wonder as such, and indeed for sharing your views because that’s what we write for, and you are entitled to by the Declaration of Independence and Constitution to do the same! All our very best, REPUBLIA.
I cannot think of a single instance in a man's life where he is cautioned/ prohibited from making his own bodily decisions.
And, yes, a woman might very well regret an abortion. That does not "prove" she is deficient, it only means she is a feeling human being capable of an infinite range of emotions.
The statistics speak for themselves. 92% of women who have abortions do so in the first 12-13 weeks. And the majority of those (80%) are before 9 weeks. That's like 5 minutes after the stick turns pink in real terms, especially if you're irregular. Add the time to get an appointment, and the numbers track. That is all to say, in number terms, exactly what you laid out in words that are impossible to refute. Trust women. We know our bodies. We know when we don't want to be pregnant. We always have, always will.
I will be sharing this with so many friends of all ages. Beautifully written and argued. Dr Bailey's experience reminded me of Serena Williams' experience after giving birth. She had spent her life shaping her body into a well honed machine, yet doctors did not listen when she said something felt wrong. There I think we see the intersectional experience of being Black and female in Western society.
Thank you for writing this.
Preach.
I’m a male. An Ob/Gyn. And I live this every day of my professional life.
There are so many delicious pull-quotes in this piece that I would love to hang in every public space I can! But I’ll just confirm this one publicly:
“They were expected to understand everyone else’s needs while remaining strangely unqualified to interpret their own.
Medicine inherited that logic, added Latin, and called it science.”
Yup. This right here.
We’ve (medicine) come a long way. But there are many miles to travel yet.
Keep screaming it from the mountain tops.
Thank you! It means a lot to hear from someone working in the field on this too!
No kidding!
Excellent article. The abortion waiting period is thoroughly insulting to all women and needs abolished everywhere. The minute you are pregnant every hour of your day is engrossed in thought about what this means to your life. Extra thinking time is ridiculous, unnecessary and assumes women have no functional brain.
I love your cultural references. It makes me think much more deeply about how my experiences as a woman have been shaped by these fucked up messages blasted over our media.
I not only appreciate this piece for all of its excellently crafted writing, I also relate to it as a woman who chose not to have children. Thank you for writing this.
I’m child free and a fantastic aunt and happy that way 🥰
Me too! I'm an overeducated, childless, cat lady and proud of it!
Excellent. Aunts rule!
I was born in the 1960s into a high-control religion. I never thought about the question of motherhood. It was my divine role and purpose! It fulfills the measure of my creation! I am grateful for my adult children. I was not a good mother though; I was angry and frustrated every day, and I often unleashed that negativity onto my kids. I was also convinced that I was the problem. It has taken me years of therapy and deconstruction to 1) take responsibility for the damage I inflicted and 2) think critically about religious and cultural messaging about womanhood and motherhood. I sincerely hope younger women are paying attention to these conversations and thinking critically about who they are as individuals and making choices based on their own judgment.
In a free society, a person's autonomy over their own body should be beyond any doubt. A person's decision should stand the first time they say it.- Thanks
Preach! 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼🫶 I must write about mine at age 18. My walk of shame.
Add fundamentalist religious grooming and Hugh control on top of all the rest and it’s a wonder I’m still alive.
Dear Meredith, I love your articles.
As an Australian with no restrictions on accessing women's health care, my heart breaks for women who have to navigate these condescending patriarchal barriers. I've had two terminations which I've never doubted or seconded guessed, they were absolutely the right decisions. In both cases doctors acted professionally and respectfully. I was never asked to explain or re-think my choice. But international anti-abortion lobby groups are trying to change this, like the Alliance Defending Freedom and CitizenGo which are trying to get a foot hold in Australia to push their agenda.
I adore and deeply admire your writing. Thank you.
In the mid-1980’s I had a birth control malfunction that required me to go the doctor. She said I was a little dilated and probably pregnant. At that moment I knew she was right and we scheduled my abortion. No fuss. Fast forward 4 years and I’ve had several bad Pap smear results requiring a more advanced biopsy. I tell my doctor (again female) that one of two things is going to happen while she has me under. Either it’s cancer and she’ll remove my uterus or it’s not and she’ll tie my tubes. She didn’t want to do it because we were the same age and she had just had her first baby. I told her I was offended and did she want an affidavit from my mother confirming that she had never heard me say anything besides I wasn’t having children. Thankfully not cancer. She tied my tubes. BTW, my favorite line from people about having children was “it’s different when it’s yours.” My response was always, “yeah, you can’t give it back.”
Your posts are fantastic which is why I subscribed and read all. One very minor nit to pick. Legal terms, on the whole, are Latin. Scientific, which includes medical, terms are generally from Greek.
Fair correction, my mom was probably shouting about that too. I’ll make an edit!
Thanks for acknowledging! Phew. I was hesitant to comment about that. You’ve given me so much to think about. As a huge ST fan, I loved your post on Voyager.
“It’s all Greek to me!” Is my excuse.
Glad you enjoyed the Voyager piece! As much as I love Star Trek I like yelling about it even more sometimes.
I love this! I love how you discussed Christina's choice and all the other women in media (Shiv, Miranda, Ally). This was so nuanced and enjoyable.
Many grateful (consensual) hugs!
Yes. Inexcusable. Also, people forget that a majority of abortion seekers already have children. They know exactly what pregnancy, birth and parenthood entails, more than men do. How insulting to insist they don’t know and can’t make such a critical decision.
Dear Meredith: We cannot account for why theories Abigail Adams was a principle author of the Declaration of Independence (1776) haven’t been put forward until now, but her stance as an advocate for coequality may illuminate a clearer picture of our past and shine light on a better path forward. Your thoughts?
https://republia.substack.com/p/native-coequality-is-the-absolute
I can’t think of any reason to think she had anything to do with it other than perhaps her ideas influencing John through her letters. Certainly not a principle author.
I can account for the fact that no one has put forward that theory. It’s bonkers. We know that Abigail was kind of fucking busy that summer keeping the farm running and inoculated herself and the children against smallpox. On modern roads it’s 300+ miles from Braintree, Massachusetts to Philadelphia. Abigail wasn’t commuting or providing feedback by mail, since it took about 2 weeks to write the Declaration and it probably would take 2 weeks to TRAVEL their on horseback.
History, women’s history especially, is not made better by creating conspiracy theories that have no basis in reality.
Certainly not a conspiracy theory and we can account for your explanations as well as prove that whereas no one can say she wasn’t a principle author applying whatever definition you might be, her views and indeed unique wording and advice from letters does appear in the Early Draft. We thank you though for emphasizing our need to substantiate our wonder as such, and indeed for sharing your views because that’s what we write for, and you are entitled to by the Declaration of Independence and Constitution to do the same! All our very best, REPUBLIA.
I cannot think of a single instance in a man's life where he is cautioned/ prohibited from making his own bodily decisions.
And, yes, a woman might very well regret an abortion. That does not "prove" she is deficient, it only means she is a feeling human being capable of an infinite range of emotions.
The statistics speak for themselves. 92% of women who have abortions do so in the first 12-13 weeks. And the majority of those (80%) are before 9 weeks. That's like 5 minutes after the stick turns pink in real terms, especially if you're irregular. Add the time to get an appointment, and the numbers track. That is all to say, in number terms, exactly what you laid out in words that are impossible to refute. Trust women. We know our bodies. We know when we don't want to be pregnant. We always have, always will.